So, yep, it's been a month.
A stressful month at that. I feel like I've been going, going, going for the past several weeks. Most of it was getting ready for our first ever Fam Jam at church. All of that preparation was definitely worth it though! It was such a blast and we had over 500 people there. It feels like it's been ever since I've been able to get up on a stage and do some acting. We will have 3 more Fam Jams this year and I'm the Comic Host (as opposed to my co-host, the Credible Host), which basically means I'm pretty....umm....let's just say silly. We have a great cast with some really talented people so it's a lot of fun! I'm still hearing great things from the kids and the parents who came to be a part of it and they can't wait for the next one. Neither can I! Although I will say I'm grateful for the little break we get before practice starts for the next one.
I've started taking part in a Restorative Yoga class on Thursday afternoons at the church. Our lead pastor's wife leads it and does a phenomenal job. I was a little skeptical at first but the more she kept talking to me about it and how much I would benefit from it, I decided to give it a shot. I think it's really been helping my mood and my stress level recently. Even if it just an hour out of the week, it's ME time. No distractions. Just a time to relax, focus on me and God and what He wants me to get out of that time. And so far, I've always walked away feeling refreshed, reenergized, and even a little bit lighter because of stuff I've let go. This last Thursday was the day before Fam Jam and I was also on the praise team last weekend so I went into the class pretty crazy stressed and my mind was all over the place with all sorts of worries and thoughts. But, ya know what? God is awesome! And Dede is awesome for allowing God to say just the right things I needed to hear through her. She reads scripture over us during some of the yoga poses, more like paraphrases of scripture I suppose. Language that you can easily understand. I guess more devotional type stuff. Anyways, this is what she read over us on that crazy, hectic Thursday of mine.
"Lie down in green pastures of Peace. Learn to unwind whenever possible, resting in the Presence of your Shepherd. This electronic age keeps my children 'wired' much of the time, too tense to find Me in the midst of their moments. I built into your very being the need for rest. How twisted the world has become when people feel guilty about meeting this basic need! How much time and energy they waste by being always on the go, rather than taking time to seek My direction for their lives.
I have called you to walk with me down paths of Peace. I want you to blaze a trail for others who desire to live in my peaceful presence. I have chosen you less for your strengths than for your weaknesses, which amplify your need for Me. Depend on Me more and more, and I will shower Peace on all your paths."
Psalm 23:1-3; Genesis 2:2-3; Luke 1:79
Maaaaaaan. I was like THANK YOU for that Jesus! *HUGE sigh of relief*
I think a lot of the times, when you serve in the ministry, or in our case have a career in the ministry, we push ourselves to our limits. Piling on service on top of service, ministry team on top of big church events, running here, having this meeting then running to the next one. But God didn't create us to run ourselves ragged even if it is in His Name and for His Kingdom. He KNOWS that we need to rest, He knows that we're gonna need a break. He made us that way! We shouldn't feel bad in saying no to a volunteer opportunity every now and then. We shouldn't feel bad about needing to just take a nap! If you'd rather spend time with your family during a certain event at church instead of volunteering like you do ALL of the other events, don't feel guilty! Do it! Seriously. You're gonna get burnt out on ministry. It happens, I've seen it! Experienced it. You don't wanna go there. We need to get our rest periods and our refreshers whenever we can and as soon as we feel like we need it....so that we can be ready for the next opportunity that God hands us, the next family that needs to be ministered to, the next event or worship service that needs volunteers. Don't you think we'd have more to give if we were truly happy to be there? Truly ready for whatever He needs us to do as His Bride.
Not exactly sure why all of this has spilled out of me now but it did. Maybe it's because I've got a few things that are gonna be added on to my "ministry plate" coming up and I'm just trying to constantly remind myself to breathe, to rest. To focus on what He wants me to do. Otherwise, I'm gonna end up running around with all of these great opportunities and being able to touch lots of people with these ministries, but then get so caught up in all of that that I'll forget that I need to take care of myself as well, to unwind spiritually AND physically.
Anyways, I think I will leave it at that. I'm ready for the weekend, we've got some fun stuff planned and then next Friday I'm headed to Salem with the boys for a weekend getaway. Yay for breaks!!
Family
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Here goes....
It's been a while since I've done the whole blog thing. When I was thinking about starting back up again, I decided it might be good for me. I've always loved to write. Perhaps this can be a little therapy for myself while the kiddos are napping. Why not, right? Why not write?
Here is me: a wife, mom, daughter, big sister, granddaughter, niece, step-daughter, step-sister, friend, child of God. I married the love of my life within 7 months of meeting him at a church camp. We had our first son before I t urned 21. Traded in my beloved Escape for the good ol' minivan and moved out to Reno, Nevada to serve on staff at a church for 18 months. We were very restless in Reno and too far away from family. I felt like it was just me, my boy, and my puppy dog most days. God led us back here to Missouri to a church in O'Fallon late August of 2009 and I gave birth to our second boy not even 2 weeks later. Since then, life has been a blur. A happy and exciting blur, but a blur nonetheless. We added another dog to the family around Thanksgiving that year and bought our very first house April 2010. We are learning how to parent a strong-willed, very energetic, slightly OCD, attitude-filled 3 1/2 year old. At the same time, we're RE-learning how to parent an almost 18 month old with a completely opposite personality and demeanor than his older brother, thus making it a totally different experience this time around. At the same time, my husband and I are learning how to communicate better with each other and keeping a positive spirit throughout our home.
All of this....and I'm still more than 4 months away from turning 25. How did that happen??
Moment of honesty here. Every once in a while, I find myself a little nostalgic and dreaming about being the young college going girl I was for only a couple of years. So carefree back then. Friends to hang out with everywhere you turn. Basically, girls' nights almost every night. No diapers to change, bottles to wash, or car seats to buckle. Getting to take a shower and doin' your business in peace. Sleeping in!
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being a mom. And I LOVE being a wife to the man I love. Love it! It is what I was made for, no doubt in mind. For as long as I can remember, being a wife, a mom, and serving in the ministry has been all I wanted. I don't regret anything that has happened. But, I really do think it's okay for me to say that sometimes, just sometimes, it hits me. When I see where all of the other people my age are at in life, what they have been able to do, what they've accomplished, the memories they've made with their college friends, friends that may go on to be their lifelong friends. It hits me that I could have had that, too. If I could just push back my family life a couple of years.
The thing is, God was not surprised when that pregnancy test turned out positive. He knew and He had a plan. A perfect plan for Mitch and me. For the boys that He blessed us with at an early season of life. A plan for this family of mine. I may not be able to go out and have girls' night whenever I want. I may not have the same amount of college memories that the girls I shared freshman year with may have. But, I DO HAVE a ton of other blessings. Blessings that not everyone my age has been able to experience yet and I can CHOOSE to look at the fact in a positive way.
I get to rock my 18 month old to sleep because he is and, I hope, always will be my snugglebug. I get to comfort my almost 4 year old in the middle of the night when he yells out because of a nightmare. I get to share the ups and downs of our day with my husband before we fall asleep next to each other. I get to take my boys to the park and watch them learn how to interact and play with other kids. I get to hear sweet little prayers at bedtime that thank God for "mommy, daddy, riley, dakota and charlie". I get to be completely stunned by the brilliance of my firstborn and how quickly he learns a new concept. I get to watch two brothers play and, yes, sometimes fight with each other and basically just figure each other out. I get to love and be loved by a wonderful man who is a fantastic dad to his sons. I've been able to experience childbirth twice already and be completely awestruck by the way my heart has just latched onto and grown in it's capacity to love these two little boys.
I GET to be a MOM and I GET to be a WIFE. God has entrusted me with these roles, with these people to take care of. Obviously, He must know something I don't because there are definitely days where I doubt my ability to be who He's called me to be. I feel like I'm always in need of more patience, more consistency, more control of my home. Maybe that's ok. A work in progress, perhaps? Please don't think I'm all depressed and hating life because I'm far from it. There are more good days than bad days so I'm pretty sure I'm doing ok. Doesn't everyone have the bad days like I do?? Go ahead and agree with me even if it's not true, makes me feel a little more normal.
I will sign off with this song I'm listening to and basically just receiving from the Lord right now. Nothing like the sweet, soothing voice of Kari Jobe to blog by.
You're My beloved, you're My bride.
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with me, My love
Under My mercy, come and wait
til we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you, My child
You're beautiful to Me, so beautiful to Me.
I sing over you, My song of peace
Cast all your cares down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me
I'll breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
and hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole.
Here is me: a wife, mom, daughter, big sister, granddaughter, niece, step-daughter, step-sister, friend, child of God. I married the love of my life within 7 months of meeting him at a church camp. We had our first son before I t urned 21. Traded in my beloved Escape for the good ol' minivan and moved out to Reno, Nevada to serve on staff at a church for 18 months. We were very restless in Reno and too far away from family. I felt like it was just me, my boy, and my puppy dog most days. God led us back here to Missouri to a church in O'Fallon late August of 2009 and I gave birth to our second boy not even 2 weeks later. Since then, life has been a blur. A happy and exciting blur, but a blur nonetheless. We added another dog to the family around Thanksgiving that year and bought our very first house April 2010. We are learning how to parent a strong-willed, very energetic, slightly OCD, attitude-filled 3 1/2 year old. At the same time, we're RE-learning how to parent an almost 18 month old with a completely opposite personality and demeanor than his older brother, thus making it a totally different experience this time around. At the same time, my husband and I are learning how to communicate better with each other and keeping a positive spirit throughout our home.
All of this....and I'm still more than 4 months away from turning 25. How did that happen??
Moment of honesty here. Every once in a while, I find myself a little nostalgic and dreaming about being the young college going girl I was for only a couple of years. So carefree back then. Friends to hang out with everywhere you turn. Basically, girls' nights almost every night. No diapers to change, bottles to wash, or car seats to buckle. Getting to take a shower and doin' your business in peace. Sleeping in!
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being a mom. And I LOVE being a wife to the man I love. Love it! It is what I was made for, no doubt in mind. For as long as I can remember, being a wife, a mom, and serving in the ministry has been all I wanted. I don't regret anything that has happened. But, I really do think it's okay for me to say that sometimes, just sometimes, it hits me. When I see where all of the other people my age are at in life, what they have been able to do, what they've accomplished, the memories they've made with their college friends, friends that may go on to be their lifelong friends. It hits me that I could have had that, too. If I could just push back my family life a couple of years.
The thing is, God was not surprised when that pregnancy test turned out positive. He knew and He had a plan. A perfect plan for Mitch and me. For the boys that He blessed us with at an early season of life. A plan for this family of mine. I may not be able to go out and have girls' night whenever I want. I may not have the same amount of college memories that the girls I shared freshman year with may have. But, I DO HAVE a ton of other blessings. Blessings that not everyone my age has been able to experience yet and I can CHOOSE to look at the fact in a positive way.
I get to rock my 18 month old to sleep because he is and, I hope, always will be my snugglebug. I get to comfort my almost 4 year old in the middle of the night when he yells out because of a nightmare. I get to share the ups and downs of our day with my husband before we fall asleep next to each other. I get to take my boys to the park and watch them learn how to interact and play with other kids. I get to hear sweet little prayers at bedtime that thank God for "mommy, daddy, riley, dakota and charlie". I get to be completely stunned by the brilliance of my firstborn and how quickly he learns a new concept. I get to watch two brothers play and, yes, sometimes fight with each other and basically just figure each other out. I get to love and be loved by a wonderful man who is a fantastic dad to his sons. I've been able to experience childbirth twice already and be completely awestruck by the way my heart has just latched onto and grown in it's capacity to love these two little boys.
I GET to be a MOM and I GET to be a WIFE. God has entrusted me with these roles, with these people to take care of. Obviously, He must know something I don't because there are definitely days where I doubt my ability to be who He's called me to be. I feel like I'm always in need of more patience, more consistency, more control of my home. Maybe that's ok. A work in progress, perhaps? Please don't think I'm all depressed and hating life because I'm far from it. There are more good days than bad days so I'm pretty sure I'm doing ok. Doesn't everyone have the bad days like I do?? Go ahead and agree with me even if it's not true, makes me feel a little more normal.
I will sign off with this song I'm listening to and basically just receiving from the Lord right now. Nothing like the sweet, soothing voice of Kari Jobe to blog by.
You're My beloved, you're My bride.
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with me, My love
Under My mercy, come and wait
til we are standing face to face
I see no stain on you, My child
You're beautiful to Me, so beautiful to Me.
I sing over you, My song of peace
Cast all your cares down at My feet
Come and find your rest in Me
I'll breathe My life inside of you
I'll bear you up on eagle's wings
and hide you in the shadow of My strength
I'll take you to My quiet waters
I'll restore your soul
Come rest in Me and be made whole.
You're My beloved, you're My bride.
To sing over you is My delight
Come away with Me, My love
Until next time, my friends.
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